Guitar Jokes:

What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.

What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common?
Both suck when you plug them in.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light.

What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Counterpoint.

In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.